I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I touched a dick in church today
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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