I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
