Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
