I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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