Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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