My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
