What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
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I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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