Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
