Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
only you would photoshop your dick
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
