i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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