like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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