I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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