That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
