Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
