at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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