Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
