So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
