She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
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After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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