was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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