I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
