Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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