Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
