Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
