its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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