i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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