I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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