it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
