apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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