he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
