big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
