Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's rum buckets o'clock
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
