i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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