I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
