When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
