quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
