there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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