i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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