I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
