im drinking this country out of the recession.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
