I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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