I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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