Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry likeswisscheese hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I too understand the importance of cheesy bread

Fav 22 4359 769
share tweet
(269): View more from Michigan

Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".

Fav 22 6353 1110
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.

Fav 17 4280 1698
share tweet
(417): View more from Missouri

I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

That's because you are an idiot.

Fav 17 2150 5276
share tweet
(774): View more from Massachusetts

Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach

Fav 3 4645 1142
share tweet
(641): View more from Iowa

she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...

Fav 11 1569 4391
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(361): View more from Texas

do you know where my other puke covered boot is

Fav 1 609 1078
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.

Fav 0 26 37
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Did you at least know who's jizz it was?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

That is questionable.

Fav 0 11 54
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT