last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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