So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she pinky promised me she was 18
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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