i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize