Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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