all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
