oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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