ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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