ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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