summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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