Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
