3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
actually, I'm a sock model
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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