I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm always down for nudity.
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