Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
