I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
