yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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