Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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