i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
