Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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