bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I lost the right to judge tonight
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
