You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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