Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize